What ever happened to Chuck?

I've had three real relationships in my life. of the almost 30 years of existence that's it.

I was a bit of a late bloomer I guess you could say. I didn't get kissed until I was 16 and then had a boyfriend for about a month before that exploded. I mean for me any way...Things have turned out great for him. He actually ended up marrying the girl he made out with during our short "relationship."

I guess you could call me the female pg rated Good Luck Chuck.

Every guy that I've dated has gone on into having a long term successful relationship with the next girl he's met...most of them have married them.

You know that Taylor Swift joke? The one where you realize that the only thing that all of her failed relationships have in common are...her...

well...i'm not saying anything...but....

anyway...i wasn't actually talking about that first guy. He doesn't really count in the grand scheme of relationships. No offense...but at 16...and maybe a month of dating...really he was just an extended first kiss.

So of the three that I do count:

1. The Jock

2. The Lumberjack

3. The X

Part 1

I dated The Jock my Senior year in high school. For about 6 months...which in hs years was AGES.... we'd been friends for about a year...but of that time he was dating someone else.

yeah i know...i just didn't see that flag at the time...

My junior year in high school my dad left. I didn't make the field hockey team...and well life as i knew it kind of turned sideways...I started helping out with the football team and that's where I met...The Jock...He was a senior and tall and smart and handsome and well...he was beautiful in that high school jock teen flick kind of way. and he talked to me. like actually talked to me. about school and life and family...

I'd never had that before. I never expected anything to happen. I didn't expect anything at all but just the chance to stand next to him and smile. and day dream...and well be 17 and infatuated with "that guy."

That year I met someone else who kind of changed my life. Lets call him The Artist. We took Physics together and he was...well he was what nice sweet guys were made of. Everything a girl should want...and I did...but at 17...well at 17 I wasn't going after what I wanted...I was waiting for someone to go after me...

He was quiet and shy. He had this dimple in his cheek that it was like he tried to hide and because of that I did everything I could to get him to smile. He carried a sketch pad around with him and was always  drawing. his hands were always moving. He was amazing. Absolutely amazing. and I fell for him in that innocent way you fall for someone you want to save. Someone you just want to see you and smile.

He was the complete opposite to The Jock. Where I waited for The Jock to come after me...I chased The Artist down. Where I laughed at everything The Jock said...i planned out things I would say to The Artist. Things I knew would get a reaction...

It wasn't until much later that I found out they were best friends...much later...

...when it was much too late to stop liking either one of them. 

typical.

I asked The Artist to Prom. I planned out what I was going to say. I mapped out where his last class was. I let fate decide in a way. If he was there I'd ask...if not..well if not it wasn't meant to be...


He was there. lol

I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember my hands shaking. I remember my heart racing...

I remember stumbling through "so...are you going to prom with anyone?...you...uh...you wanna go with me?"

and he smiled...

and i think i said "o ok..." and like walked away...lol...

The day before prom a got a note...passed through three different people until it finally got to me...from The Jock...a hand written note saying how he'd always liked me...how he heard I was going to Prom with his friend...but he'd always wished we got together...and wondered what it could have been like...what we could have been...

and there went the world...

prom was awkward. we all shared a limo. The night was full of secret smiles and inside jokes and hidden tickles...from the wrong guy...

we dated for 6 months...and I burned some bridges...and in the end...he broke my heart...

I somehow stayed friends with The Artist. It took a bit...but he honestly ended up being one of my best friends...until...well...he wasn't....

But that's a story for another time...

Part 2

The next guy i dated was in college.

he's actually one of the 3 people that reads this blog...so take everything with a grain of salt...

I met the Lumber Jack my first month on campus. I went to a small Liberal Arts College in the middle of no where. The night life could leave a lot to be desired. I met The Lumber Jack through friends. I was going to a campus party with some girls from down the hall and he...well he was the only guy there.

He was a tall, blond, football player from farm country. lol. I laughed when i first met him and told him we would never get together.

he bit me in return.

and some how...at 19...that meant I love you.

We were inseparable from that moment on. He was my first in so many ways. My first vacation. The first time someone took me home. The first one to meet my mom. The first...he was just the first...

He was a nice guy...a really nice guy. big and burly and sweet. so nice that after our first time he actually answered that phone call from his ex gf...i give him grief about that to this day.

He dated a girl for what 5 years after that? we talk about every day...i mean via gchat...but still...He's the only x that I'm still friends with.

Part 3

the last guy

The X

The X was a summer fling that just kind of extended.

I had dated someone after The Lumber Jack...but we were better friends that girlfriend/boyfriend. When I went home for the summer I met The X while waiting tables at a local pizza parlor.

I thought he was cute. He was quiet, a strange mixture or shy and cocky that I just couldn't say no to...

I told him I had a boyfriend when he asked me out to the movies.

His response "I didn't ask you that. I asked if you wanted to see a movie..."

i was dumb...

We went to McDonald's. We snuck into a movie. He kissed me in the back row and tried to feel me up in the car. For a girl that never went out in high school it was like living for the first time...

i was really dumb...

I broke up with what's his name and some how the relationship continued. During Junior and Senior year in college...and I...I dunno...whenever anything went wrong I would just remind myself how great it was in the beginning.

and even then it wasn't that great. 

So I stayed after I saw the first text message from some girl. I stayed after the topless picture of another girl. Hell I even stayed when he left his email open on my computer where he was making plans to hang out with someone else when I was out of town.

I stayed...and stayed...and stayed...and I think I thought that if i just kept staying at some point...he'd stop going.

he didn't...

We broke up shortly after I graduated from College. I just kind of woke up one day and realized that nothing was ever going to change.

yeah that or we went to the club one night and he threw a guy across the room for touching my hip when he was passing by...but you choose whichever story you like better...

we were a part for about 2 months...on and off for about 3 or 4...and during that time I did what young women do. I partied with friends. I went to Vegas. I did everything but date...i just couldn't. Everyone was just...like him I guess. It was all the same BS just a different face attached to it...

I stayed in contact with his family. Talking to his sister at least once a month. His mother on holidays. Went to the beach with all of his cousins. I missed them. I think I might have missed them more than I missed him, honestly.

and I guess that was the door I left cracked open.


He'd dated during that time. No surprise there. He'd actually settled down with someone. So how we ended back together is still kind a questionable. I'm not sure of those two ever actually ended or how that overlap went.

But we dated again...and nothing had changed. we were just older...making the same mistakes...with no excuses.


and then about 10 months later...a week before we were going to sign off on an apartment

i found out i was pregnant

and there went the world again

so i did what any crazy girl would do...i got married. 

and wasn't even a little surprised when it all fell apart.

...ok maybe a little...

He's married now by the way. to the other girl. they have a baby any everything. 

so it seems like Good Luck Chuck struck again

but that brings us to the present...

so you can see why I'm kind of

skeptical about dating now...mainly because I'm a HORRIBLE judge in character...

but hopefully...this blog will help me put things in character...so well...i won't fall for the BS again...

Over the river and through the woods

I got paid the other day and didn't even realize it.

Ok not that I'm so comfortable I don't even need paycheck. Not like that at all.

More like it's been about a month of no paycheck since I just started and I didn't realize I had an office mail box where they'd been sending me stuff for weeks and I just wasn't picking them up. 

Well I found out yesterday. Best surprise ever.

And a relief since rent was due and I was paying Russian roulette with my land lord. Like here's a check. Let's see how long it takes you to deposit it and hopefully by then the money is in the account...

So far I've been winning in the game. But that could change. 

So I'm really liking the job. It's really different than the last one. The firm culture is different. I'm assuming it's the environment. I mean there's a girl who wears pajamas to work....I was written up at the last firm for not dressing professionally enough because I didn't wear heels...

The office manager here actually pulled me aside and asked me if I realized I was allowed to wear jeans.

That was an awkward conversation. Ummm I only own 1 pair of jeans. And they're not really office appropriate. W/e. I'm wearing them now and people can just deal with the junk in the trunk. 

The firm is located on the coast in a town with only 1 high school (with a graduating class of under 200...and most of the kids walk there. Its really kind of cute...until last Monday when I was in desperate search of coffee and got stuck in this:

ummm....

So now I get coffee at noon...

We have a deal with the local coffee shops so we get free coffee whenever. I've been really getting into lattes recently...

Most of the attorneys live in town. No one else could possibly afford it. The rest of us commute in. 

There are only 3 ways in and out of town which it located on a peninsula. Sort of. North, South, or East. (So I guess its not a peninsula...w/e I cross a huge bridge to get here...that's all I know...)

I live South. But enter East. Because the southern exit bypasses where I live and goes straight to another beach town...

The East exit connects to a major highway. However it's a two lane road. 1 coming. 1 going. Over a river. Through the the woods. Over a mountain.

It's beautiful. Breathtaking

And far as shit. 

And somehow I always get stuck behind a tractor trailer. Like WTF. Do they wait for me. Like 20 miles per hour the whole way. 

The workload is really diverse. Which is nice. I'm a bit rusty on some thing's but it's nice to have a list of duties. So when one thing gets tedious you can just redirect for a while. 

I don't really have any complaints. It's weeks 3 and so far so good.

I really like it here.

Are you a Belieber?

Sunny has decided she's going to marry Justin Bieber...

How did this happen you ask? Well a new song just came out and I was playing it on the way to school and she instantly fell in love.

That's all it took and now's she's a belieber...

I've been trying to redirect that infatuation for a few days - but the only problem is the songs are so damn catchy

I went so far as to start playing NSYNC. I mean who can say no to this?

Sunny...sunny can say no.

So I think i've just resigned myself to this.I mean i can handle Justin Bieber over Taylor Swift at least...



So Sunny is 4 now. and 4 came crashing in. CRASHING....like I'm not quite sure I know who this kid is anymore...


we got into an argument complete with emotional breakdown - because i wouldn't let her go to sleep with sunglasses and a crown on.

I honestly had to stop and ask her "When would I ever allow that?"

We're having a really interesting time right now. We're just too opinionated...like I could agree with her and we'd still get into an argument...

I'm not quite sure what to do about that.

She came to work with me last week. Day care was closed and I didn't have any other options. She did really well.

We built a fort under my desk, she found the office supply of chocolate, and played with office dog.

Everyone loved her.

By Friday two other people brought their kids in. a set of 3 year old twins, a 2 year old, and a high schooler who babysat them in the conference room and walked them to get ice cream.

So now Sunny has decided she doesn't want to go to school anymore - she now wants to go to work.

lol...if only work was that fun all the time.

but I hope for her...that every day is like that.

What are you reading Wednesday...well now it's Thursday because I forgot to submit on time...

Wow...I've been really wack. Started the new job and lost a lot of time.

So...Ok it's time for Kaylee Ryan...

I found Kaylee Ryan because her books kept popping up on my kindle as something I might enjoy. I guess enough people with my romance novel collection read her books that it just seemed like the next step.

So...me being me...I read everything available...including the newest that was released in August...but we'll get there in a minute.

I have a love hate relationship with Ms. Ryan...like I buy and read all of her book.

I enjoy them.

but...i kind of hate myself afterwards...

...because they're all kind of the same....

....but i keep reading them anyway...

A new story just came out last week. 

That was probably the first sign. I mean it's hard to read a book when the cover model is just not appealing to you.

and the title: Emphatic

definition: showing or giving emphasis; expressing something forcibly and clearly.

And unfortunately, while the author used the word constantly...i don't really think anyone actually seemed emphatic about anything...

So summary: It's about a rock star and a girl next door and they fall in love. So Kacen (that's the guy)...meets Logan (that's the girl...) meet on vacation in Hawaii. There's some mistaken identity in there...and a bunch of  supporting characters who will most likely get their own books in the future. Logan comes back from vacation and realizes that her summer fling is her new boss and he's a rich, successful rockstar.

I've been reading a lot of rock star book recently...and honestly I'm not even trying to....

So they fall in love and pretty much live happily ever after.



I mean don't get my wrong the story was cute, but there are certain things that happen in every book that kind of drive me nuts.

So the guy is a bit of a whore and then he sees the girl

and suddenly he's the dream guy who rubs your feet, and cooks, and buys you stuff, and sleeps platonically next to you and is happy just to hold your hand...

each book the character even claims "if [my best friend] could hear me now they'd revoke my man card"

There's always an emergency - a death of a distant relative, a fight with a sibling or stranger, that causes the girl to break down completely and usually for the guy to start crying cuz she's crying...

And then they live happily ever after.

Actually like 95% of the time the girl ends up pregnant even though she's on birth control...

and yet after all of that I still buy the books.

So would I recommend this book?

Sort of...

I would recommend at least one of her books. Maybe not all of them. Like one would be enough. 

And even with that I'm not sure that this would be the one I'd recommend. 

Maybe 

or

Those ones were cute...and you get the main feeling of what She's like as a writer...

But...eh...the books are about $3 on kindle...so if you have time and want a quick easy cute read...