Touché, Rory, Touché

So I've successfully carried on having a blog for almost a week without talking about my kid...

That is actually an accomplishment, because in person she the main thing I talk about.

So lets remedy this:

Sunny is 4 today...A fact I actually forgot until mid last week. Like don't judge me. I know my daughter's birthday, its just that this year we're actually having a birthday party with friends that isn't for another 2 weeks - and since I've been so focused on that it slipped my mind that her actual birthday was like...

.
why is her birthday party so late? Well because Sunny's best friend's birthday is the same week as hers and they beat me to the date I wanted. oh well.

I don't know if I've really processed that she's going to be 4...

To be completely honest I don't know where the time went.

Pregnancy felt like FOREVER. but these last 4 years have been a blink of the eye.

or

and kind of

and a lot of

We had a pretty busy weekend- not in the way that it usually is.  We usually have a million different things on the weekends. Ice skating lessons, dance lessons, groceries, errands, etc.

However, this Saturday we spent all of 3 minutes on the ice until Sunny realized she needed to pee...10 minutes too late...and by then. well...

So I just gave up for the day.

I think that's a lot of parenting...like just seeing how much you can do before you hit the point where you just say - fuck it i give up.

So we just stayed in and eventually went and hung out with family.


She even had a Skye session with her dad...which was a first.

I'm finding that dealing with him is a lot easier now that the divorce is finalized.

                           and there's 3k miles between us

                                                and I have absolutely no expectations for him


maybe maturity comes with age....or a piece of paper that says that he has no rights to me or her...

you choose.

Either way all of these seems rather surreal.

Parenting a 4 year old in an of itself is a huge change.

She's a lot of fun...but I don't know if we're really friends anymore. We're starting to argue a lot these days which is just kind of a crazy concept to me.

I don' thtink I ever felt safe enough to argue with my mother as a child.

Sunny...no fear...

I think subconsciously i've always hoped for that kind of Gilmore Girl relationship with her...but at the time i had totally forgotten what that really entailed.

I guess i'm just going to steer into the curve.

and see what the hell happens next...